this simple post turned into my testimony
So this isn't going to be a silly story or anything. This is real. This is life and all it's emotions. Today is Sunday. Normally, I look forward to going to church. Well, not this Sunday. I was feeling down and blue and stressed out. I made all the excuses to not go. I had a birthday party for my son yesterday, my place is a mess. I am exhausted. The kids are tired...blah, blah, blah. I have had this mood on me all day that just won't quit. I just feel overwhelmed and run down. I am not the energizer bunny. Sometimes I feel helpless and I look at my kids and realize they are the ones that are and they NEED me. There are no "breaks" or "time-outs". So, is this how life is just going to be and I need to get used to it? I don't want pity, just comfort. Which, many cannot even fathom. I have a wonderful sister that helps me all the time. We are so close, when I am stressed, she knows. I am the kind of person that thrives on love and encouragement. I need to hear, "mel, chill". I need to be loved on and accepted. Don't we all?
Well, I did make it to church. And, it is so crazy awesome how the Lord moves when we are obedient. I felt like Pastor Matt's message was written just for me, how special is that! He was reflecting on Paul when he was imprisoned. How the Lord used him to share the word even in those circumstances. Pastor was speaking on how in the worst circumstances, the Lord can use them for good. I do believe this. I have had a bad circumstance. He was talking on how the Lord does not cause evil. He has given us free will to make our own choices, but there are consequences to sin, whether it be the consequence to your sin or someone else's.
I was married for almost 5 years when my husband announced he no longer wanted to be married. Shocked, hurt, disgusted, I wanted to work it out. I for the life of me couldn't convince him to go to counseling. He had his mind made up, he wanted out. Well, perfect timing. I had just found out I was almost 3 months pregnant and we had a 2 year old. Well, come to find out, he had been seeing another girl. There was a whirlwind spinning in my head. I felt sick to my stomach. I hurt so badly. I felt the ultimate betrayal from the one I had committed to in good and bad. Why? is what I cried to the Lord. I lfelt like it was all my fault and there was nothing I could do to fix this; but these things were a lie from the devil. This was not my doing, and the Lord CAN and WILL mend me and my children. He will use us for His glory and already is doing so. One thing I do want is to be able to help out anyone that has been in the same circumstance or close to this, I know all situations are different, but there is hope always! So Matt, to answer your question, yes, the Lord did get my attention and I am going to focus it on Him and know that there is glory in the midst. There is so much more I felt tonight, got out of the message, the worship, from just speaking to the Lord, and in my story. But, I am going to end now. I thank the Lord for the blessing I have to be a mother, I don't EVER wish I could change anything. I definitely feel the Lord has made me a stronger person through all of this. I could not have been sane without Him.
Well, I did make it to church. And, it is so crazy awesome how the Lord moves when we are obedient. I felt like Pastor Matt's message was written just for me, how special is that! He was reflecting on Paul when he was imprisoned. How the Lord used him to share the word even in those circumstances. Pastor was speaking on how in the worst circumstances, the Lord can use them for good. I do believe this. I have had a bad circumstance. He was talking on how the Lord does not cause evil. He has given us free will to make our own choices, but there are consequences to sin, whether it be the consequence to your sin or someone else's.
I was married for almost 5 years when my husband announced he no longer wanted to be married. Shocked, hurt, disgusted, I wanted to work it out. I for the life of me couldn't convince him to go to counseling. He had his mind made up, he wanted out. Well, perfect timing. I had just found out I was almost 3 months pregnant and we had a 2 year old. Well, come to find out, he had been seeing another girl. There was a whirlwind spinning in my head. I felt sick to my stomach. I hurt so badly. I felt the ultimate betrayal from the one I had committed to in good and bad. Why? is what I cried to the Lord. I lfelt like it was all my fault and there was nothing I could do to fix this; but these things were a lie from the devil. This was not my doing, and the Lord CAN and WILL mend me and my children. He will use us for His glory and already is doing so. One thing I do want is to be able to help out anyone that has been in the same circumstance or close to this, I know all situations are different, but there is hope always! So Matt, to answer your question, yes, the Lord did get my attention and I am going to focus it on Him and know that there is glory in the midst. There is so much more I felt tonight, got out of the message, the worship, from just speaking to the Lord, and in my story. But, I am going to end now. I thank the Lord for the blessing I have to be a mother, I don't EVER wish I could change anything. I definitely feel the Lord has made me a stronger person through all of this. I could not have been sane without Him.
posted by Singing Sparrow at 11:05 PM
3 Comments:
Thanks for sharing that, Melissa.
Wow Melissa! Thanks for sharing that. I hope you know your kids are a blessing to me!
Thanks for sharing that! What an awful thing to have to go through. No one would have any idea looking at you on any given Sunday that you have been through that experience. You are already being used by God for good--you are a shining example of how life does go on, and can go on happily, even after tragic things happen to you.
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