It's one of those happy sorrow things.
I love this time of year; it's the holiday season. Spirits are up, trees are decorated, lights are in action, hot chocolate, eggnog, family, friends. It's the perfect time to celebrate Jesus' birth. It seems like suddenly millions of people come out of their holes and present themselves at the mall, driving on the freeway, grocery shopping, and outside decorating their homes.
So, WHY, WHY, do i at the same time feel so down? Ugh. It's like going to Disneyland and crying at the happiest place on earth. I just don't get it. It sucks, yeah, to worry about who you got to buy for and how you are going to afford it. And who's family to visit first and whatnot. But, blah, i am feeling bummed this year. It's just me and the boys and i won't even have them on Christmas Eve it looks like. This will be my second Christmas with just me and the boys. Though last year at least I was living with my mom and stepdad. I just like having people around me. It's how I was designed, people lift my spirits, they give me reason to joke and have a good time. My kids do make me smile, they keep me smiling that's for sure! I thank God for my boys every day. I already thank God for my future husband, but I long for the day that he is actually here with me. I wonder what i will be blogging about next year this same time. Anyways, happy holidays!
So, WHY, WHY, do i at the same time feel so down? Ugh. It's like going to Disneyland and crying at the happiest place on earth. I just don't get it. It sucks, yeah, to worry about who you got to buy for and how you are going to afford it. And who's family to visit first and whatnot. But, blah, i am feeling bummed this year. It's just me and the boys and i won't even have them on Christmas Eve it looks like. This will be my second Christmas with just me and the boys. Though last year at least I was living with my mom and stepdad. I just like having people around me. It's how I was designed, people lift my spirits, they give me reason to joke and have a good time. My kids do make me smile, they keep me smiling that's for sure! I thank God for my boys every day. I already thank God for my future husband, but I long for the day that he is actually here with me. I wonder what i will be blogging about next year this same time. Anyways, happy holidays!
posted by Singing Sparrow at 8:32 PM
3 Comments:
I hear you. Keep you spirits lifted and know that you are more loved than you know.
Los
I was raised by a single mom, and every year we spent the Eve with her and then went with my Dad on christmas day. We would give her a kiss and wave goodbye, excited to find out what other gifts we would be receiving. Never in a million years did I think my mom was so lonely and sad every christmas day. She never let on. She always smiled and waved back. She is an awesome mama!
Thanks Pearmama for the encouragement. I think you're right, to act to what is best for an example to for the kids. I was raised by my mom who was single for years, and those were some of the best years spent with her. How cool is that!
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